I'll be the moss to your tree!

Hey girls~! 

Well first off, I wanted to thank you ALL for your concerns and advice, and you girls who left messages for my bf are crazy!! I love it! But that's another reason why this blog entry is going to exist. The bf and I were talking it out and honestly, there's extra info that I should write about because honestly, it's not fair to him because I kind of made him look like a natural born mental case instead of one that might pooooossibly have a reason to be one. 

There IS a reason why he's this insecure about me. Ok no, I'm not skank-zilla or anything and no I don't party my ass off everyday, come home stumbling from the alcohol yellin HONEY IM HOOOOOME! 

In fact, it all stemmed from our first year of being together. CALL ME CRAZY, but I do believe my exes are keeping TABS on me, as ridiculous as that might sound. I didn't date much after my high school bf, it was kinda like.. a 2 year healing period to get my shit together because that relationship screwed me up big time. OH JUST A SIDE NOTE since I get readers from here in So Cal. SCOTT TOMONO is a womanizer who only wants to get in yo pants. I'm sure at least one reader knows him. I'd know. Even after I've forgiven him, the thought of him still makes my blood boil. But we'll talk about that later. Careful to girls under the age of 20! 

Ok, back to my story. Before me and my current bf got together, we were doing that whole dating stage first right? I was interested in him but it didn't seem to click the way I wanted it to. So I was also seeing this guy from my college named Cody. Cody knew about Christian but Christian didn't know about Cody. Yes, I know, BAD BAD BAD. But it me and Christian weren't official and I had no plans to make it that way at first. This one day me and Christian got into a couple's fight even though we weren't together, so that same day I called Cody to go to the beach together. OBVIOUSLY Christian found out about Cody and went ape shit, and that's where his insecurities STARTED. I ditched Cody for Christian after that, only because Christian did something BAD TOO AND VERY SNEAKY but I'm not going into that. I figured, a guy who was conniving and street smart enough to trick me into being his gf was definitely worth some of my time. Thinking about it still makes me laugh. But I decided not to write what he did!

Ok, some background history.

I had dated a guy for six months named Kevin Nguyen before Scott. One day out of the blue, he calls me and says we should see other people because it's not working. It's not me, it's him, YADADADADA. He said he had shit he needed to handle, so whatevers right? That was the last time I talked to him and you know.. bottom line? 4 YEARS went by. Never thought of him again. That is.. until that first year I was seeing Christian. Apparently Kevin has kept tabs on me through things like my AIM profile and away messages, my old xanga, my myspace. He calls me out of the blue maybe a few months into my relationship with Christian. I'm like.. who are you? He obviously had to jog my memory a little. OH SNAPS. He said he wanted to see me in person to explain about why he did what he did back then. 

I'm the type of person who holds onto grudges and ish for a long time. Was I curious what he was doing now? HELL NO. Did I want to know why the fuck he dumped me out of nowhere back then? YOU BET YOUR ASS. I had NO INTENTIONS AT ALL of hookin up with him or anything, I just wanted the truth. He was one of the reasons why I hate dealing with guys. So we met up at his friends' house because they were having a bbq or something. I wasn't planning on staying long, just long enough to hear what he had to say. I won't go into all that but nothing happened, end of story. 

Christian found out about me going to see Kevin obviously, and went ape shit. His insecurities growing at this point. We fought, we argued, we talked it through. We still stuck it out. Yes, my bad, I know. Can you blame me for wanting to know though? I just thought I was too ugly and fat, which I was. LOL.

End of story? NOPE. My sins continue.

A few weeks after THAT. Scott calls me out of the blue. WTF IS THIS? YEAR OF THE FUCKING EXES?????

He called to say whatsup. Let me give you the low down on this skank. We dated for oh.. 2-3 months? Not long, but my first official boyfriend. Our first Christmas, this bitch disappears for a week. I found out later that he was sexing it up with his ex gf Momoko. That skank went to his house to get him back and you know what they say about men thinking with their dicks. We still saw each other a little after that. Intro to a YOUNGIN named Stephanie. She knows we were trying to make things work but she still tried to get into his pants. On Valentines day, he came to see me early in the morning and I thought awww how sweet. But then I found out it was because he had slept over at his grandma's house with HER the night before and had dropped her off in Laguna early that morning and my house was ON THE WAY back to his stupid house. LYING CHEATING NIGGA SAY WHAAAAAAAT? End of junior year of high school, I stopped talking to him while he went on dating a series of hoes. So 2 years later, he calls me up to say what's up. I'm like.. NIGGA YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT? 

Turns out he called to apologize for what he did in the past. Uhh.. cheaters have consciences? We talked for a while, catching up on shit. He sounded sincerely sorry and that was refreshing. Apparently he's been stalkin my myspace too and that's how he found out about my current relationship. Yes he's still trying to mac on girls, including me because he thought I was hot now (fucker). Obviously current bf finds out about the communication between us and once again, insecurities grow, and he goes ape shit. I cut it off with that guy after that. OBVIOUSLY. He made me want to barf anyways. 

Those were all during the first year of our relationship, where I wasn't sure how long we'd last and I can't say I even ADORED Christian. I liked him but I didn't really start getting attached until a few months into the relationship. He kinda.. GREW on me. Like fungus. After that rocky first year, believe me, he did some bad shit too but I'm not going to say what. No need to make him look even worse to you girls, I didn't see anyone or talk to anyone but him. 

But even though I was and am completely devoted to him, I know he still worries about losing me and thinking back to our first year. I don't blame him for that but I hate how he gets so angry at me now. We both have tempers so that doesn't help much at all either. 

For now, I'm sticking it out with him. Is he perfect? No. Is he the right guy for me? Maybe not. We all need to learn our own lessons at our own pace. Have I learned mine yet? Maybe, maybe not.

Well.. that's my story. I just read it and it makes me look like an indecisive slut but ah well, to each his own right? I already told my bf I'd put this post up before he suggested it. Nobody's perfect and I don't want ANYONE thinking that I am. 

Katie

ps- I'll give ANYONEEEEEE a whole PENNY (poor college student say whaaaaaat) if you can figure out what my title means? HEHEHEHEHEHE. 

pps- I'm going to teach you how to spot a man chaser without even being in the room in the next post! Jk, it's actually a rant. I'm full of them this week! YOWZAH!