An excerpt from my cousin

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MY XMAS PRESENTS ENTRY IS UP! CHECK THE POST BELOW THIS ONE!

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:) DID YOU GUYS HAVE A GREAT XMAS?!?! Ok, so this would've normally been the part where I blog about what I did on xmas and share my presents with you all, and believe me I started blogging about it yesterday, but then I got distracted so now it's a half finished saved entry! :) You guys have to wait! 

So what can I be blogging about at 10:42 Am? Well.. nothing really, except I logged onto facebook and noticed my interesting cousin.. posted yet.. another one of his interesting notes. Yes, Eddy, the same cousin I live with, who wore the penguin costume I posted a while back, along with the Alice in Wonderland costume the year before. You might think.. what type of man is he, what goes on in the mind of someone who can fit into a size 10 women's pump? Well....enjoy!

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Church Retreats: Gatherings of Dumbassery
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 4:57am
True story. A long time ago, when my mom used to make me waste my Sundays, I went on this church retreat. We were all sent to this "ranch" to do "activities" whereby they divided the boys into one group and the girls into another.

Does this sound familiar? It should if you've ever looked at the MO of a cult. But anyways, I remember this one pastor/otherwise-jobless-and-useless-individual trying to convince us that masturbating was a sin, you should hate yourself if you do it, and that he never did it. He only had sex with his wife and even then he was trying to convince us that he was sexually attracted to her.

He then told us all to close our eyes and if we masturbated, raise our hands so he could pray for us. HA! I knew what this self-hating, closeted homosexual was up to. He was going to rub one out at the thought of all these little boys raising their hands and telling him they touched themselves. What a fruitcake.

So what did I do? I called him on his game."Hells ya I masturbate! Profusely." Hold a black light in my room and that place is going to glow like Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Combined. So what's the moral of this story? Don't touch anything when you walk into my room.

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He posts many like these, which usually warrant a *sigh* comment from his gf. 

:) 

Katie